A couple of weeks back I felt like I’ve just woken up from a deep sleep. And it has been compromise induced. Perhaps a lot of us have been in this place. I’ve sort of been navigating my way along in as passive (almost inert) a way as possible - this is not like me at all! I’ve had a series of people approach me asking if everything is okay, comments like “have you lost a bit of your mo-jo” or “you’re not being your normal enthusiastic self”. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have colleagues and clients care, and for those that know me this is a relative thing - my energy and enthusiasm levels remained much higher than the average person (I think). It did however get me thinking. And the answer is - they are right, I had lost a little something. So I asked myself why?
My observations are that I’ve become a bit close minded, I’m not taking in as many new external inputs and I’m not challenging myself enough. So, I’ve started to change things, and the effect has been really positive.
So, I’m sharing what I’ve done to turn this around, just in case you’re feeling the same - some of it might work for both of us:
I’ve been reading more, but also things that I wouldn’t naturally go for, and especially things where my instinct is “that’s not for me” or “I don’t share that POV”. Taking the other perspective can be incredibly enlightening, this isn’t about changing your mind, and mostly I’ve found it creates even more conviction to the things I hold true or believe in - but with more justification.
I’ve got back in touch with people who have always inspired and guided me, their wisdom remains intact. These are people who are also prone to asking “but, why Rory?” Or “maybe, but what about...”
I’m observing far more again, people generally, social dynamics, customers and so on (especially in the "new normal"). My passion has always lied in “the human”. My UX focused days, where ethnography was a continuous ritual were the times I’ve always felt the most clear and focused. Perhaps even the most passionate about my job and career.
I’m pushing boundaries a bit more. This one needs careful management, this isn’t about pushing people or aggressively challenging them. This is about asking challenging questions of the work I’m doing, the information or insight I’m looking at, and challenging the meaning more. I’m also challenging myself on a personal level. For example, I’ve noticed my workout routine isn’t exactly making my lungs burn, or getting me to that energy high any more. And challenging myself in this way just brings a lot more positivity to something that shouldn’t feel like a chore - I love staying healthy, I used to pride myself on it!
This is a big change - I’ve moved back to the New Forest after 21+ years and embraced the sea and trees, run and rode in different directions and instead of thinking “I wonder what’s down there” I’ve gone that way to find out. We’ve climbed more trees, paddled in more brooks and streams and really felt connected to organic matter in a way that I've deeply missed. This one has been the really big shift, and I’m incredibly lucky to have been able to make this choice with my family. And I am convinced that as Dana Brown put it "Step into liquid" - or connect with organic matter in whatever way you can - it will make you feel better!
I’m awake again now, and actually this sleeping process has made me wake up with renewed vigour. I’m much more up for it again now. Back to a more positive mindset. Some will receive this news with mixed feelings, a Rory with heightened energy back might be a little daunting - but I hope it can also be contagious. Let’s hope it’s the latter anyway!
I'd love to hear people's views and experiences doing similar.
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